Home >  Home >  Words and Wordplay >  More Ludicrous Limericks

More Ludicrous Limericks

She frowned and called him Mr.
Because he fondly kr.
And so for spite
That very night
That Mr. kr. sr.


A love-sick young barn-owl in Kew
Had a pretty young she-owl in view.
He twittered, "I oughter
Endeavor to court 'er
But I don't have enough wit to woo!"


There was a young fellow named Hall
Who fell in the spring in the fall.
'Twould have been a sad thing
Had he died in the spring,
But he didn't - he died in the fall.


The fabulous Wizard of Oz
Retired from business becoz,
Due to up-to-date science,
To most of his clients
He wasn't the Wiz that he woz.


Said a maid, "I will marry for lucre,"
And her scandalized ma almost shucre.
But when the chance came
And she told the good dame,
I notice she did not rebucre.


There was an old man of Dunoon
Who ate soup with a very small spoon.
For he said, "As I eat
Neither fish, fowl, nor meat,
I should otherwise finish too soon."


There was a young girl from Berlin
Who was born so uncommonly thin
That when she essayed
To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in.


A traveler once to his sorrow
Requested a ticket to Morrow.
Said the railman, "It's plain
That there isn't a train
To Morrow today, but tomorrow."


The sea-cow or grey manatee
Spends most of its time in the sea,
But in tropical rainstorms
It suffers from brainstorms
And hangs upside down in a tree.


One day I went to the zoo
For I wanted to see the old gnu;
But the old gnu was dead
And the new gnu they said
Was too new a new gnu to view.


There was a young man who said, "Why
Can't I look in my ear with my eye?
I think that I might
If I stretch very tight -
You never can tell till you try!"


A sleeper from the Amazon
Put a nightie of his gra'mazon.
The reason was that
He was much too fat
To get his own pajamazon.


There once was a boy of Baghdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad,
Who said, "I will see
If a sting has a bee."
And he very soon found that it had!


There was a young man who said, "Do
Tell me how I'm to add two and two.
I'm not very sure
That it doesn't make four -
But I fear that is almost too few."


A girl who weighed many an oz.
Used language I dare not pronoz.
For a fellow unkind
Pulled her chair out behind,
Just to see, so he said, if she'd boz.


A certain young man named Bill Beebee
Was in love with a lady named Phoebe.
"But," he said "I must see
What the clergyman's fee
Be before Phoebe be Phoebe Beebee."


A bottle of perfume that Willy sent
Was highly displeasing to Millicent.
Her thanks were so cold
That they quarreled, I'm told,
Through that silly scent Willy sent Millicent.


There was a young fellow named Fisher
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure,
When a cod, with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in ...
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.


There was a young girl in the choir
Whose voice rose hoir and hoir
Till it reached such a height
It was clear out of seight,
And they found it next day on the spoir.


A fellow who lived in New Guinea
Was known as a silly young nuinea.
He utterly lacked
Good judgment and tacked,
For he told a plump girl she was skuinea.


A cheese that was aged and gray
Was walking and talking one day.
Said the cheese, "Kindly note
My mama was a goat -
And I'm made out of curds, by the whey."


A right-handed fellow named Wright,
In writing "write", always wrote "rite"
Where he meant to write right.
If he'd written "write" right
Wright would not have wrought rot writing "rite".



Too ludicrous? Then you may prefer Less Ludicrous Limericks

Wordplay books from Amazon.com



Bookmark Thinks.com at Del.icio.us! Digg Thinks.com at Digg.com! Bookmark Thinks.com at Google.com! Bookmark Thinks.com at stumbleupon! Bookmark Thinks.com at Spurl.net! Bookmark Thinks.com at Simpy.com! Blink this Thinks.com at blinklist.com! Bookmark Thinks.com at Furl.net! Bookmark Thinks.com at reddit.com! Bookmark Thinks.com at Fark.com! Bookmark Thinks.com at blogmarks! Bookmark Thinks.com at YahooMyWeb! Bookmark Thinks.com at Ma.gnolia.com! Bookmark Thinks.com at Netvouz!

Demand Media