More Ludicrous Limericks
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She frowned and called him Mr. Because he fondly kr. And so for spite That very night That Mr. kr. sr. A love-sick young barn-owl in Kew Had a pretty young she-owl in view. He twittered, "I oughter Endeavor to court 'er But I don't have enough wit to woo!" There was a young fellow named Hall Who fell in the spring in the fall. 'Twould have been a sad thing Had he died in the spring, But he didn't - he died in the fall. The fabulous Wizard of Oz Retired from business becoz, Due to up-to-date science, To most of his clients He wasn't the Wiz that he woz. Said a maid, "I will marry for lucre," And her scandalized ma almost shucre. But when the chance came And she told the good dame, I notice she did not rebucre. There was an old man of Dunoon Who ate soup with a very small spoon. For he said, "As I eat Neither fish, fowl, nor meat, I should otherwise finish too soon." There was a young girl from Berlin Who was born so uncommonly thin That when she essayed To drink lemonade, She slipped through the straw and fell in. A traveler once to his sorrow Requested a ticket to Morrow. Said the railman, "It's plain That there isn't a train To Morrow today, but tomorrow." The sea-cow or grey manatee Spends most of its time in the sea, But in tropical rainstorms It suffers from brainstorms And hangs upside down in a tree. One day I went to the zoo For I wanted to see the old gnu; But the old gnu was dead And the new gnu they said Was too new a new gnu to view. There was a young man who said, "Why Can't I look in my ear with my eye? I think that I might If I stretch very tight - You never can tell till you try!" |
A sleeper from the Amazon Put a nightie of his gra'mazon. The reason was that He was much too fat To get his own pajamazon. There once was a boy of Baghdad, An inquisitive sort of a lad, Who said, "I will see If a sting has a bee." And he very soon found that it had! There was a young man who said, "Do Tell me how I'm to add two and two. I'm not very sure That it doesn't make four - But I fear that is almost too few." A girl who weighed many an oz. Used language I dare not pronoz. For a fellow unkind Pulled her chair out behind, Just to see, so he said, if she'd boz. A certain young man named Bill Beebee Was in love with a lady named Phoebe. "But," he said "I must see What the clergyman's fee Be before Phoebe be Phoebe Beebee." A bottle of perfume that Willy sent Was highly displeasing to Millicent. Her thanks were so cold That they quarreled, I'm told, Through that silly scent Willy sent Millicent. There was a young fellow named Fisher Who was fishing for fish in a fissure, When a cod, with a grin, Pulled the fisherman in ... Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher. There was a young girl in the choir Whose voice rose hoir and hoir Till it reached such a height It was clear out of seight, And they found it next day on the spoir. A fellow who lived in New Guinea Was known as a silly young nuinea. He utterly lacked Good judgment and tacked, For he told a plump girl she was skuinea. A cheese that was aged and gray Was walking and talking one day. Said the cheese, "Kindly note My mama was a goat - And I'm made out of curds, by the whey." A right-handed fellow named Wright, In writing "write", always wrote "rite" Where he meant to write right. If he'd written "write" right Wright would not have wrought rot writing "rite". |
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